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"10 Ways to Turn Negative Thoughts Into Positive Action"

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Coaching and Speaking

Coaching and Speaking

I can help you gain the courage to look at your roadblocks and create a path and a plan the gives you the confidence to make the changes you desire for your life. Through compassionate listening and proven strategies I will guide you to make those changes, one step at a time.

Published Works

Published Works

We are not able to change what happens to us, but we can change how we view it. Change Your Perspective, Change Your Life! is a collection of reflections focused on many of the life issues we all face. Each of the offerings is meant to inspire you, and help you see how you might make a positive difference in your own life.

Blog

Blog

Below are the three latest posts, click the image above to dive deep into them all. Sign up on the link above to receive the most current blog post plus other resources for living your best life.

 

Change Your Perspective, Change Your Life

I believe that deep down we are all striving to live the very best life we can. However, because our lives are in a constant state of flux, it is essential to pay attention to the thoughts, feelings, and actions that these changes bring about. It is easy to get stuck in old thoughts or patterns that keep us stuck or otherwise limit our lives. When this happens it is important to take a deeper look inside, change what we can and then muster all the courage we have and take a step into our own life. This helps us to embrace a larger perspective for ourselves and for the world.

Even though we know it is important to pay attention to our lives, we do not have a manual that helps us find a path that works for us. I don’t believe that everything in life needs to be analyzed, but if something is bothering you that you cannot shake, it’s time to take a deeper look inside for answers.

One of the tools that I think is especially insightful and empowering is learning to look at things from a new perspective. This is the process of looking at what happened or what you are feeling from many different angles to gain insight and create a path forward that is kinder and more compassionate toward all involved, especially yourself.

One common theme that many people struggle with is something I call the “Not Enough” syndrome. Most of us have some version of that that informs us that we are not smart enough, thin enough, or have enough money. This idea is so deep-seated in our brains that it runs like a virus and informs our thoughts and actions. Once we are aware of this we can choose to see it in another way. For some reason, the negative things in our life carry the more emotional weight that weighs us down and makes us feel bad. So it is a matter of balancing the scales. For example, where in your life is there evidence that whatever bothers you is not true? What is this story without the drama? What other ways can you look at this?

I like to say, don’t believe everything you think because those thoughts keep you hostage. If you are looking for a new perspective allow your thoughts to become flexible, in other words, there might be more than one way to think about it and more than one right answer or way to solve it. Imagine if what you think is not right but a matter of reacting to an old pattern that was never true, to begin with.

When we allow ourselves the flexibility to change our minds and to open ourselves up to another viewpoint, our life opens up. I have owned a beautiful wooden kaleidoscope for a long time that reminds me that I get to change my mind. With the smallest twist, the image completely changes, and another picture emerges, not necessarily better or worse, just different than before. That can be a reminder for you too that when you change the way you think about things, you will open yourself to new possibilities that you never saw before. Staying open and flexible fosters more choices and creative ways that will help you navigate life with more ease and less stress.

NEW OFFERING: MONTHLY COFFEE TALK

Each month I will be hosting a coffee talk to talk more about Personal growth. This will be a online Zoom event and is a complementary offering. I will send a separate email with all the details. Let me know if this sounds interesting to you or topics you would like to see covered.

 

 

 

The Power of Flexibility: Increasing Your Own Well-Being

If you think I am talking about how much you can bend or stretch your body, touch your toes or how much range of motion you have, you would be only partially right. The more flexible our body is, the better able we are to preform our everyday tasks with ease. As we age, we know that this is an important aspect that helps preform the things we want to do with less pain and discomfort.

Since we know that physical flexibility keeps us healthy, so does mental flexibility. By that I mean the ability to be able to consider many ways to overcome an obstacle, the ability and willingness to change how we think about things so that we can move from our old ways of thinking and doing things to embrace something new. All of us can get stuck in the way we have always done something but that seldom serves us well.

Most of the limits we have in life are self-imposed. We make and create ways of being that can keep us stuck in a pattern of behaving and thinking that does not serve us. Every time we do that, we limit our life. For example, I find that I like things in my house to be a certain way.  However, when family come to visit for an extended visit the house looks like a tornado hit it. I used to get crabby and upset that everything was in such a mess so I would focus my energy to restore order, missing the fun of enjoying my family. I had not realized how stuck I was in having to have things a certain way until I felt the discomfort of not being present for my family. When you look at your own places you might also see behaviors or thinking that have kept you stuck and not able to move forward. Especially as we get older, it is easier to say I just won’t do that anymore, rather than to look for ways that you can do what you want.

One of the most powerful tools that we have in our personal growth toolbox is the opportunity to change our perspective. In essence, with every obstacle before us, we can stay stuck where we are, or we have the opportunity to move forward: it is always up to us. In other words, change your perspective, change your life.

Keep in mind that we live in a faced paced world, so our ability to transform what we are given every moment is our greatest skill and most treasured asset. Learn to recognize the places where you have emotional discomfort and rather than accepting or fighting the feeling, take a moment to STOP and name what you are feeling and be grateful for the chance to change it. PAUSE to take some deep breaths and let yourself find a calm place where you can REFLECT. With a journal in hand or a piece of paper, make a list of what is happening in your life that is causing issues for you. Try your best to stay out of the story of what is happening by making the list as simple and true as you can. It is the story that we create that keeps us stuck more than the actual event.

When you are ready, TAKE A STEP. For each item on the list, ask yourself what you need to make a positive change. Ask yourself what mindset or perspective would help you take a small step forward and then do it.

When life happens, we must adjust our sails and find new ways to navigate our lives that will open us to possibility, rather than limiting what we can do or accomplish. It is so not so much about what are circumstances are now, but more about the mindset that anything can and does happen when we open ourselves to possibility.

I believe with each choice; we are making our own possibilities. Just remember, never underestimate the power of your choices, as they propel you forward or hold you back.

When choices are made from a place of what is possible, rather than limitations, we add energy to the process by creating many paths to reach the same place. I have found that each step taken, it leads to the next when er are open to what is possible, and that that can lead us to new ways of thinking and acting that will increase our overall well-being.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Success always Leaves Clues

One of the most important aspects of personal growth is the idea that success always leaves clues. When people talk about their success it is often in terms of how lucky they were, or they just happened to be in the right place at the right time. I have found from my years of working with people that they don’t often think about the role they played in achieving that success.

Just last week I was talking to my daughter-in-law about a big opportunity that had come her way, one she could never have imagined for herself. She also talked about being lucky, being in the right place at the right time, and knowing a few key people. However, she told me how this had come about it was evident that she had done action steps that put her in a position where this was a possibility.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe there is a lot to say about the synchronicity of how things come about: It just does not happen out of the blue, it happens because you have put yourself out there. Maybe you have taken a risk to do something that is out of your comfort zone or maybe you have been courageous in how you decided to take action or changed your attitude from negative to positive.  You somehow have put yourself in a position where you are open and ready to receive whatever the universe brings to you.

If you look back on something that you thought was just a “lucky fluke” I bet, you can see that you had done something to put yourself out there. My daughter in law that was courageously taking a chance on presenting at a conference. If she had not done that, the wonderful new opportunity would never have presented itself.

Since success indeed leaves clues, it is also true that failure also leaves clues. This is a little different and more damaging to our self-esteem. In this scenario, we blame ourselves for some shortcomings that we think we have. If we didn’t have this flaw, we would have succeeded.  Instead of looking at failure as some form of “not being good enough” it is far more beneficial to let it be okay to fail because it provides such great information.

When we believe we are at fault we just keep trying harder to make it work. The harder we try, the more we don’t succeed. When failure can be seen from the point of view that something did not work as planned, then looking at what went wrong, changing it, or deciding to do something different leads us closer to what we desire.

Have you ever seen someone make the mistake repeatedly whether it is in business or their personal life? I am very focused on the idea that if you want to change something in your life, you need to think and act differently. However, that is not always as easy as it sounds. Each of us has a lot of negative thoughts and emotions that get in the way. If we don’t take the time to get a handle on our mental clutter, we keep looking at life through the same lenses.

The most important thing that I like people to realize is that with every thought you think and every action you take, you are creating your life. And with every choice, you are either making your life bigger or shrinking it. We all have times when we do that but so often we do it unconsciously and we are living a limited life.

I have had the opportunity to study people’s choices for many decades and the accumulation of these choices and it is clear to see how it has affected people’s lives either positively or negatively.

We have this idea that we have very little control over our lives and life happens as it does. This can be a life-limiting belief and what would happen if we challenged that thought?  Life situations happen to us that we have no control over but we always can control how we react to them, and deciding our next choices is how we will continue to move forward and be resilient to what life brings us.  My question in any situation is: what can I learn from this. This is a crucial question of whether you are learning from your success or your failure.

I understand that I am standing on the outside observing what I see in people. This unique perspective helps me to make observations that a persona can’t see for themselves. Beginning to question what we do and why will open the perspective to be able to see things in a new way.

One way to do this is to have someone who you can talk to that will give you honest feedback. The other way is to realize there are always two or more right answers to a problem. So instead of doing what you have always done, consider there might be another way that would be better.

Remember, we have way more power and choice in our lives than we use. Begin to imagine if you exercised your power of choice of thoughts and actions regularly, how might the quality of your life be different? Knowing success leaves clues, what if you purposefully set yourself up for success in your thoughts in actions?  What if you decided that you were going to learn from your mistakes and do something different…what then?