Everything You Need, You Have!

This is certainly an interesting idea now with Covid-19 and the shortages of products we are accustomed to getting. Making a grocery list is like making a  Christmas list. You put your item on the list, go to the store or arrange for pick-up, and are surprised at what is available and what is not, figuring out or make adjustments for what you did not get. We know that we are happy to have what we have, and are grateful for what we get. We take it all in stride with a grateful heart.

But when I wrote the chapter on this in my book, I was not talking about the physical items we have, but instead our ability and the inner resources we have to stay positive when things in our lives change dramatically.

It all starts with the mind set that we are enough. All of us have the skill and the positive qualities to be able to use our thoughts, words and actions in a way that will benefit our own well-being. All to often we are judgmental and negative to ourselves, rather than being kind and compassionate. When something bad or unfamiliar happens, even though it is a hard thing to do, it is very beneficial to our mental health to dig deep into ourselves to uncover the best of who we are. We forget that we have weathered many storms in our lives and have gained wisdom that we can use now.

Perhaps YOU have forgotten that YOU are:

WISE – BRAVE – COURAGEOUS – OPEN MINDED – UNDERSTANDING – KIND – REASONABLE –

SELF DISCIPLINED – HOPEFUL – SPIRITUAL – TRUSTING

  • What would be your top three qualities?
  • How can you use them right now to help keep you positive?

A business coach friend of mine always tells me that once you take of yourself from the neck up, everything else will take care of itself. Taking care of our thoughts by being aware of our mind set keeps us positive and moving forward.  If we can remember that no matter what, we really do have everything inside of ourselves to make the desired changes in how we think or act, we will be able to navigate our life with greater ease.

YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO AFFECT THE OUTCOME OF YOUR LIFE!

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Making An Emotional First Aid Kit

Yesterday, I did a Facebook Live (the link is posted below) where I talked about the importance of making an emotional first aid kit for yourself. We can do almost anything for a short period of time, however, when the time gets extended, it can become much harder to maintain our own well-being and keep a positive attitude. Collectively we are all trying to figure out how to navigate this new normal.

I have been asking people what they need hear right now and several people said they were afraid they might find themselves feeling overwhelmed, sad and discouraged, not able to stay positive during this.

Those are all normal feelings to have but it will not be helpful for us to dwell on them. I believe that rather than being fearful that this may happen and we won’t know how to get out of it, I think it is better to just plan that sometime this might happen, it’s normal and yes, we can have a plan to get out of it.  Living in fear does not help us to use the wisdom we all have.

  • Changing your thinking from “what if this happens”  to “chances are good that sometime during this time I will find myself struggling” is a mind shift that moves you from a reactive frame of mind to a proactive one.
  • When you are reactive, you are in fear and cannot use the wisdom you already have. However, when you are feeling emotionally strong and positive, you are in a good place to make a plan that you can use if you feel you are struggling.
  • We have a First Aid kit at our house because we know that accidents happens and we want to be prepared when they do. This is the same concept we can use to boost our own mental health.

I suggest that you make your own mental Health First aid kit. For example, my granddaughter can get over excited or overwhelmed. She is being taught how to manage her own emotions by having a calming corner. Sometimes she needs to be reminded that she needs to use it and other times she knows she needs it. In her special place she has activities that will help her identify what she is feeling and move past it. It is very effective and she is learning a life skill.

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Thriving Instead of Surviving

As we settle into a new normal, things might continue as they are for longer than any of us thought. With the idea of this being long term, rather than short term, I have begun to ask myself, how can I not only survive this, but thrive so I can be better than I am now.

There are some things I know for sure and that is that each one of us is stronger than we remember that we are. We are courageous, resourceful and creative to name a few. In our busyness we have forgotten how resilient we really are and at times like this, we must call on our inner strength. Plain and simple, it is to our advantage to take control of our thoughts and actions for the benefit of ourselves and others.

With that in mind, I’m offering some thoughts for all of us to consider.

When we have feelings of security, comfort, and safety we feel good and our brain reacts accordingly sending out good vibes, telling our mind and body that all is well. We feel positive about life and optimistic about our future.

When our need for safety, comfort, and protection is threatened, as it is now with this virus, we move into a flight or fight mode. We know that this state of being causes our brain to release chemicals that are harmful to us, adding even more stress and negative thinking. It is much harder to feel optimistic, and hopeful, with the knowledge that in the end, everything will be okay. When we feel threatened, we need to be reminded of what we already know.

When we are not able to change or control the circumstances, what can we do?

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Exploring Your Life

As many of you know, my husband and I spend 8 weeks in Cocoa Beach, Florida. It is lovely to be so close to the ocean, besides getting us out of the cold, it also disrupts the normal routine of daily living for quite a while. You might think that going to the beach might ever get old, but you do need more than the beach to fill your time. In fact, if you really want to see what this artsy town and the area has to offer, you must go exploring.

We have attended lectures on subjects we never would have considered at home, I have taken a painting class, given Mandala stone painting classes, learned about the space program, seen the Ponce Lighthouse and explored many nooks and crannies of this great area. In essence we expanded our horizons but trying out things that were new and different for us.

I have meet some fun people teaching my class and the idea of trying new things or making changes can be very difficult. They admitted that trying out my painting class was hard for them, but they did it anyway. That is how the conversation on change began. Drinking my coffee, looking at the ocean, I was reflecting on these conversations and felt the sadness at that the bigger changes they wanted  to make, they felt were out of their grasp. There is so much sadness that goes with being unable to do the thing you want to do.

What if we could explore a change before we make it?  I began to talk to them about the idea of exploring the change they wanted to make, try it on for size, just to see how it works, before committing to it. All of a sudden the fear went away, and there was excitement in their faces.

We all fear letting go of what is comfortable and familiar, even if it no longer works for us. The first step can be beginning to imagine the change by exploring how it feels to make the change.  This exercise will help to open one’s mind to a small step that can be tried out for a few hours or a day to see how it might work. Once you realize that you really can do it,you will want to continue taking these steps forward.

Exploring a new way to be must begin in your mind with a mindset of curiosity and wonder about what you will find. It is this exploration of a new way to act or think that leads to a fuller and more satisfying life.

Remember, have fun exploring new ways to be and to think!

 

No Fee conversation about change

 

Your Personal Narrative

“I will write myself into well-being”  ~ Nancy Mair

I have kept a personal journal for most of my adult life. Not that what I have to say is so exciting, because it is not, but writing down what I am thinking about gives me insight into my own mental state. In my morning writing time I will write whatever thoughts are going through my head, what am I fearing and anything I am hanging on to.

I often find that the narrative I have in my head is far from the truth, or a least some distorted form of the truth.

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Anything Worth Doing…Can you complete this phrase?

I grew up learning that anything worth doing, is worth doing right, the first time!  My guess is that many of you learned something similar.

I began to notice this in my Mandala Painting classes. As I teach the technique, I explain that the idea is not to create something perfect, but to really give yourself time to learn and enjoy the creative process. However, I have observed how critical participants are of themselves and how they make judgments about their worth dependent on how they feel they did.

Is that true for you in any other areas of your life? As I saw other’s being critical of themselves, I also saw myself. It was a true moment of awareness for me! I know that I must watch myself because I do expect that I should be able to do something perfectly the first time, but I did not realize just how easily I had slipped into this pattern of negative thinking.

As adults, every day we are also daring to get life right, only to judge ourselves when we fall short and don’t always get it right the first time. When that happens, many of us take that as a judgment about who we are, rather than what or how it was done. The learning process should never be an opportunity to judge ourselves as unworthy because we did not do it right. It is best to find our self-worth in who we are, and how we approach life.

Being aware of something is 80% of the solution because if you are not aware of a problem you can’t change it. A shift in perspective can make all the difference in your outlook and your well-being.

Here are a few questions that can help you make a shift in thinking:

Inspired Action:

  • Identify places in your life where you judge yourself for not getting it right.
  • How can you be more loving and compassionate to yourself in these instances?
  • Adopt the mindset that your path and end result may look different than someone else’s.

Remember to be kind to yourself!


SERVICES

Complementary half hour phone call: Curious about coaching or have a question you would like answered – schedule a “no fee” call.

Pinpoint Coaching Session: One phone or video coaching session used to address one issue; It can be one hour and a half session or 2 -45 minute sessions.

One on One coaching: These sessions are done thru phone or video. If you are interested in coaching we will schedule a “no fee half” hour session before we begin.

REPLY TO THIS EMAIL TO SCHEDULE ANY OF THESE SERVICES


Classes

Painted Mandala Stones Classes: From mid-January through February I will be doing classes in Cocoa Beach, Florida. Classes will begin in Burnsville/Savage area in mid March. I will keep my Facebook page updated as well.

https://www.facebook.com/Painted-Mandala-Stone-Workshops-111167386941319/?modal=admin_todo_tour

GET YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED: or learn more about Personal Growth and living well. This year I will be doing video’s on the topics that people are wondering about. If you want something answered or talked about, please reply to this email. Dates and times will be announced here and on my coaching FB page.

MAKE THIS DAY BE THE ONE WHERE YOU TAKE ONE SMALL STEP TOWARD WHAT YOU WANT.

How Will This Year Be Different?

Today I want you to become aware that you already possess all the inner wisdom, strength, and creativity needed to make your dreams come true. ~ Sarah Can Breathnach

 

Awareness is so important because if you do not realize something, it is impossible to change it; once aware, you have power to make changes. If you want to achieve your dreams, reach your goals, or improve your well-being, you must first know you have the power to do it.

I know that this might seem like an easy thing to say, but much harder to do. My advice is to start with something easy that you would like to change, then ask yourself what small change you could make that would get you closer to what you want. Remember this is a process that takes time and attention, as well as an intention to make a change.

If this is a topic you are interested in let me know by replying to this email. If enough people are interested I will do a complementary video session on this topic.


SERVICES

Complementary half hour phone call: Curious about coaching or have a question you would like answered – scheduke a no fee call.

Pinpoint Coaching Session: One phone or video coaching session used to address one issue; It can be one hour and a half session or 2 -45 minute sessions.

One on One coaching: These sessions are done thru phone or video. If you are interested in coaching we will schedule a no fee half hour session before we begin.

REPLY TO THIS EMAIL TO SCHEDULE ANY OF THESE SERVICES


Classes

Painted Mandala Stones Classes: From mid-January through February I will be doing classes in Cocoa Beach, Florida. Classes will begin in Burnsville/Savage area in mid March. I will keep my Facebook page updated as well.

https://www.facebook.com/Painted-Mandala-Stone-Workshops-111167386941319/?modal=admin_todo_tour

GET YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED: or learn more about Personal Growth and living well. This year I will be doing video’s on the topics that people are wondering about. If you want something answered or talked about, please reply to this email. Dates and times will be announced here and on my coaching FB page.

MAKE THIS DAY BE THE ONE WHERE YOU TAKE ONE SMALL STEP TOWARD WHAT YOU WANT.

Embracing Peace Now and All Year Long

 

Thanksgiving is almost here, and Christmas begun before we even finished our Turkey. I was thinking if we are so eager to rush the season, maybe we could make the peace and joy we yearn for at Christmas, something that is part of everyday living.

We must all find a way to find peace for ourselves but I think there are six attributes to finding peace. Over time focusing on these things will bring you closer to finding your own peace.

Practice Forgiveness: It is easy to forgive others for small grievances, but much harder to forgive the bigger hurts and betrayals. If we are in the practice of forgiveness, we have the mindset that helps to seek understanding and opens the perspective to see an issue from another point of view. It is about being unwilling to hang on to the anger, and seeking peace.

Seek Understanding: All too often we are married to our ideas and opinions, and will voice them at every opportunity. At times we talk over others to be heard, and pay little attention to the impact our opinions make. If we can take a step back and listen with the intention to understand, we might find we are more alike than different.

Watch Your Words and Actions: You might remember this quote from Bernard Meltzer: “Before you speak ask yourself if what you are going to say is true, is kind, is necessary, is it helpful? If the answer is no, maybe what you are about to say should be left unsaid.” Our intention is not to be unkind, tell a lie, or give our unsolicited opinion, but sometimes, for many varied reasons, we just do. Perhaps if we could slow down to think before we act, it would greatly change how we respond to others.

Take Responsibility: What if we could take responsibility for what we do and say in our personal and professional relationships? I understand it takes a lot of courage to face our misgivings, but isn’t better than spending our life hiding from it? I think it would heal a lot of hurt, and diffuse much anger.

Release Anger: Refuse to hold on to anger and hate. Sometimes we don’t even realize how much anger and hate we are hanging on to until it comes out in our words and actions. When our words and actions show anger or hate, remember that is what we are teaching others.

Be Still: Stop to listen to the voice of God in your life. Be still and know God is here.

I believe to live peacefully with ourselves and others, we must have alignment between our head and heart. When we understand that our words and actions have power, we are moving toward peace.

Taking responsibility for our life is what each and every one of us can do to change the world around us. Blessings to all of you as you walk through Advent and into Christmas.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do You Make Fun A Priority?

You would think it would be an easy choice between working or having fun, right? Not for me! I was born and raised in Minnesota, a typical Midwesterner by most standards. I am also of the German and Norwegian ancestry. I’m telling you this because I, like many of us, grew up with a strong work ethic. In fact, in my family work always came before fun. So as many of you already know, the work is never done, which means the fun times are few and far between. An even bigger stretch was the idea that work and fun could go together and it was not an either or; both could actually happen at the same time! Who knew?

Given this strong work ethic that was hard wired into my brain, I clearly had something to work on. It was hard to move from making work the only priority to incorporating fun into the things I did. Even though I knew how important it was, I still found it hard to balance fun with work. Just as I had learned growing up, work was still first priority.  I knew that is not what I wanted and I would have to find a way to make another choice.

That is when I heard about the 50 Fun Things workshop. A friend of mine was going and although I was still skeptical I thought I would go and give it a try.

I enjoyed the workshop, brought home the 50 Fun Things Chart and laid it on my desk not quite ready to dive into it. Every now and then I picked it up and thought maybe I could add some fun to my life. I started small, but the more I did, the more I liked it. Before I realized it, searching out things that were new and different had actually became part of my life.

One of the things I searched out was how to paint the beautiful Mandala Stones that you see on Social Media. It took quite a while to find a teacher so I could learn how to paint them, but when I did had so much fun that I decided that others might enjoy this too.  That is when Painted Mandala Stone Workshops were born. I have loved creating these workshops and people are having such a great time creating their own stones.

I know for a fact, that if I had not made an intentional effort to seek out it out, I would have continued to fit fun in when I could. This helped me to change my belief that work is not the only important attribute to have. Even for someone like me with an embedded work ethic, this changed how I think about what I do and how I do it.

If you are interested in coming to a workshop I have two more this fall. Both are held at Jo Jo’s Rise and Wine in Burnsville and are $25.00. Register by replying to this email and I will send you an invoice to pay online as payment is due at the time of registration.

You can also check out my Facebook page – click on the events tab to for future workshops.

https://www.facebook.com/Painted-Mandala-Stone-Workshops-111167386941319

 

 

 

 

 

Creating More Joy in Your Life

This is probably not news to you, but Americans are at an all-time high when it comes to stress, worry, and anger. It has been said that if you want to gauge the emotional climate of people look at what is happening locally and nationally; is it any wonder we feel this way!  Watching the news on any given night offers more anxiety and things to worry about than it does hope. The 2018 Gallup Global Emotions Report states that about “55% of Americans felt stressed about their lives which is a record high for this country.” People are feeling anxious, stressed or angry about the state of the things that are happening in their lives and in the world.

This of course is not everyone, but on a daily basis many will say that they we are experiencing a high level of anxiety and stress. Unfortunately, we don’t come with a guidebook that can help us maneuver through these emotions.

Where do you turn for help when things get overwhelming? I know for many turning to faith in God is an important way to deal with the stress and uncertainly of the world.  This is a favorite Bible verse that I like. “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit”. Romans 15:13

Over time, I have also learned that in addition to having a strong faith, you must also act on your own behalf to improve your situation. Our ability to face stress, worry and anger allows us make decisions about daily living that allows you to look beyond current circumstances and foster joy. This is our greatest asset to living with more abundance and joy. For many, it is not automatic to see joy when things are hard; it is something that needs to be practiced by:

  • Make a daily intention to invite joy into your life.
  • Give yourself time to play and to do the things that make you happy.
  • Express gratitude on a regular basis for the goodness that is in your life, including those who love and support you.
  • Choose to look at life with a sense of awe and the wonder of a child.
  • Connect regularly God and practice your faith.
  • Send blessings to anything that is causing you discomfort, and refuse to carry any anger by taking steps to resolve it.
  • Acknowledge and connect to the LIGHT that is within you, and allow that to flow from you out into the world.
  • Expect the miraculous to happen.

It is easy to get stuck in the hard places of life. However, it is with faith and awareness that we have the knowledge to choose to practice ways that helps us move past stress and into cultivating joy. Wishing you joy in your life!

For more inspiration reads check out my book, Change Your Perspective, Change Your Life – 52 Inspiring Ways for YOU to action. Available on Amazon: