Living Authentically

Do You Wonder if You Can Make a Difference?

Like many of you, I watch or listen to the news, I grumble to myself and sometimes others about how bad things are, and always feel sad about the state of our world. Every day we hear news of public figures accused of wrong doing, we hear of shooting in public places and when we think we have seen and heard it all, we hear news that is more disturbing than the last report.

This came home to me again this morning when I learned that the hospital that my son works at was dealing with someone who said he had a gun and the Emergency Room was put on lock down. It ended with the man being shot as he reached for his gun. I wish this was unusual but it is not the first time his hospital was part of the news. It was not that long ago that they treated those involved in the Pulse shooting in Orlando. Sadly, it is beginning to feel commonplace.

In the coaching world we often say that if you want to take the emotional pulse of the people, all you have to do is look at the things that are happening in our world. I’m not alone when I wonder what it is that I can do to make this situation better. It does not matter what your spiritual practice is or even if you don’t have one, you can make a difference with every thought you think, every word you speak and every choice you make. What we think, say and do either helps our world or feeds the fear and uncertainty that people are feeling. On a daily basis, this is easier said than done; sometimes we need some ways to actually put this into practice.

Here are a few ideas from my book: Change Your Perspective, Change Your Life – 52 Inspiring ways for YOU to take action

Kindness: Check in with your thoughts, are they kind even to the people and situations you don’t like? Can you be kind to the person in front of you who is being rude and judgmental? Our intention is not to be unkind, tell a lie, or give our unsolicited opinion, but sometimes, for many varied reasons, we just do. Perhaps if we could slow down to think before we act, it would greatly change how we respond to others. Perhaps, the best gift you can give yourself and others is to not judge them based on their current behavior.

Practice Forgiveness: It is easy to forgive others for small grievances, but much harder to forgive the bigger hurts and betrayals. If we are in the practice of forgiveness, we have the mindset that helps to seek understanding and opens the perspective to see an issue from another point of view. It is about being unwilling to hang on to the anger, and seeking peace.

Seek Understanding: All too often we are married to our ideas and opinions, and will voice them at every opportunity. At times we talk over others to be heard, and pay little attention to the impact our opinions make. If we can take a step back and listen with the intention to understand, we might find we are more alike than different.

Practice Compassion: It is easy for us to offer compassion to those whom we feel deserve it, but what about the people that we deem not worthy of it? God offers even those who are accused of the worst crimes compassion, who are we to judge who is worthy and who is not? Not knowing what the other has been through or is going through, what is the most generous story you can tell yourself and others about the situation?

Release Anger: Refuse to hold on to anger and hate. Sometimes we don’t even realize how much anger and hate we are hanging on to until it comes out in our words and actions. When our words and actions show anger or hate, remember that is what we are teaching others.

Take Responsibility: What if we could take responsibility for what we think and how we act? How do you think that would affect our personal and professional relationships? I think it would heal a lot of hurt, and diffuse much anger.

To live peacefully with ourselves and others, we must have alignment between our head and heart. When we understand that our words and actions have power, we can then chose to replace out negative with positive. Taking responsibility for our life is what each and every one of us can do to change the world around us. 

Take care,


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Email me to purchase, Change Your Perspective, Change Your Life – 52 Inspiring ways for YOU to take action $15.00 plus $3.00 shipping – click here



Moving From Here To There!

I have said this before, but I will say it again, there is nothing more constant in life than change. Quite simple, any change brings loss, even if we deem what happened as a good thing or we know there is a higher purpose, it leaves a void we try to fill. ~ Sandy Thibault

This is a place of transition, where what was once there is gone, so with all the energy we can muster, we try to fill the hole with something else that will ease our discomfort. My own life experience tells me just how uncomfortable this place is and how much wisdom we can uncover if we can sit with the discomfort for a bit. My experiences show me that instead of moving away from it by filling the space with something else, that looking deeper into the void and getting clear about what the loss signifies for you, grieving that, and then getting clarity about what is needed to move forward.

Everyday life brings about changes that like it or not, are constantly whittling away at the things that don’t fit, sometimes this happens by what we do and sometimes by what happens to us; change. My question to you is, what changes have occurred for you and what parts of yourself are you re-building?

Being clear about what you are putting back into your life is a gift you give yourself.
If you would like to talk more about this, please email me and we can set up a free half hour time to talk. I’d love to hear from you!
Strategies For Peaceful Living – Wednesday 7/26/17 6:30 – 7:30 PM No Charge

You will gain insight into your own life and learn strategies that will help you create more ease and harmony. including how to let go without losing your grip! Reserve my seat by sending an email. See you there!



Finding Light in the Wilderness

If you are Christian and following the liturgical calendar, we are about a third of the way through the Lenten journey that leads up to Easter Sunday. The forty day journey, not including Sundays, chronicles the days and nights Jesus spent in the wilderness, enduring the temptation of Satan and preparing to begin his ministry. Lent is a time of year when we focus on repentance, fasting and preparation for the coming of Easter. It is a time of self-examination and reflection where people focus on their relationship with God, often choosing to give up something or to volunteer and give of themselves for others.

Did you know that the word Lent comes from the Anglo Saxon word lencten, which means spring? In nature we have just endured the cold, snowy and dark days of winter and are emerging into the spring. Hopefully soon, we will see the warmer temps and the first of the Jonquils, tulips and daffodils. I love this time of renewal because it parallels our own lives; after a dark time we emerge into a new light, unearthing the spring in ourselves.

So here is what I’m wondering…

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Living Authentically: Resistance

There is one thing I know to be true for most of us; we like our path in life to be clear and comfortable. We have an attachment to knowing how the story will unfold long before it does and we like things to be sure and predictable. When this is not the case, as it so often is not, we suffer greatly. During times of uncertainty we are left trying to figure out how things are as they are, and how to control our life to make it better. When in truth what we need to do just the opposite and stop resisting it.

I learned this lesson when I was 13 or 14, before I had any idea this was any kind of life lesson. 

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Navigating Rough Spots

We all hit rough patches in our life; sometimes they are emotional, physical or both.  Either way, they throw us off our game leaving us feeling uncertain and drained. We can even begin to loose faith that things can get better.

That happened for me when within a 5 year span, when I had two back surgeries, surgery to remove a life threatening tumor and an ankle fusion. Life was hard during that time, I had trouble imaging that I might be well again. Finally in desperation, I knew that it was up to me to do something, anything to improve my life. The day I walked into a small neighborhood fitness center, I was weary and pretty sure it all looked too intimidating for me to do, but I was there taking the first step. Somewhere inside me I had a glimmer of hope that just maybe I could make things better.

But this was not the first time I had hit a rough patch. Years earlier I had to make peace with my adult life from the emotional, physical and emotional abuse I suffered as a child. I could not see how things might get better than either but I just kept putting one foot in front of the other as doors opened up so I could find my path to healing.

I understand when my clients tell me that they know that things can be better but cannot see the path or know how or when it might happen. They want to know how I can be so certain that things will change for the better. My answer is always the same; healing is there for anyone who wants it. You don’t even have to believe it can happen for you, you just need to be willing to begin. When I walked into the gym I only knew I was there to begin.

I believe we are not meant to suffer physically or emotionally, yet we all suffer more than we need too. If you are finding yourself in a place where life feels hard, you feel stuck, or perhaps you need to make peace with your life, making changes in how you perceive the world and how you react to it, can make all the difference for your own well-being.

Selma’s Spirit – A story of love and Forgiveness a journey to Peace is available on

Have questions about Life Coaching…visit my coaching page

Get more information about the upcoming workshop – Sat, Nov 4th 




Fall Workshops…Have you registered yet?

Now What? How to Pick Ourselves Up


My mission as a Life Coach, is to teach people live with more joy, move past fears and move into the bigger life they see for themselves. In the course of living we sometimes get triggered by something someone said or an experience that happened to us. This starts a roller coaster of self sabotage and again we find ourselves in the same old pattern. So the question becomes Now What? How to Pick Ourselves Up.   The class I have coming up on Sat, Sept 25 is called just that!  We will explore this together and I will teach you how to pick yourself up and keep moving in a way that honors all involved. I hope you can join me for this powerful workshop. Registration deadline 9/18/16

Follow the link for registration information 

September Book Club

Last year the book club was a popular offering and after taking the summer off we will resume in August. Here are the dates for late summer and into the fall. You may choose to come to one or all.There is no charge for the book club but I ask you let me know you are coming due to space limitations. Contact me here.

Monday, September 19th 6:30 – 7:30 PM Tears to Triumph by Marianne Williamson



Fear… A Great Teacher!

” Magic is believing in yourself, if you do that, YOU can make anything happen” ~ Johann Wolfgang Van Goethe 

This is my new bike…it is a beauty! However, once I got it home, I realized I was scared to death to ride it! I did not try out at the store because I was too nervous, but I thought once I got it home it would be fine, but No… I was even more fearful. Plus I was embarrassed to think if I really was too fearful to ride it I would have to take it back, admit failure or worse yet, I would keep it and have wasted money for something I won’t use. That was just the beginning of my racing thoughts…am I too old to be riding around on a bike? What if I fall off and hurt myself? This was a really stupid thing to do? We have all been to the place where our thoughts are racing out of control and our fear gets bigger than life itself.

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Honoring Our Worthiness

” The most dangerous stories we make up are the narratives that diminish our inherent worthiness. We must claim the truth about our loveability, Divinity, and creativity.” ~ Brene Brown

When I listen to people tell their stories, it is almost always a single story that tells all the things they are not, but what they should be. This story is a learned dialogue we have in our mind that comes from our experiences, thoughts, emotions and beliefs. The good thing that negative thought patterns are learned,so when they no longer serve us, we have the opportunity to unlearn them so we make new choices for ourselves.

As a child I was taught that I was not smart enough to do much of anything and grew up believing that. Of course, I wanted to prove that I was, leading me to work harder than anyone else to prove my worth. While I know that receiving feedback is an important part of life, I can still be triggered when someone criticizes the work I have done. If I am not aware, I can fall into a negative thought pattern that diminishes my energy and make me feel bad about myself.

This is the cycle that Brene Brown talks about in her book, Rising Strong. What happens when we get triggered by a circumstance or experience? How do we move past what happened and honor our own integrity and worthiness? Because life itself is our best teacher, this happens to all of us, and when it does we want to be able to move past this in a way that honors our best self.

I have a class coming up on Saturday morning, September 24th called, Now What? How to Pick Ourselves Up to teach skills that will help you move through these experiences with ease. Please see my website for details of the class

Invite a friend and join us for this class!



Stuck In An Old Patteran

If we are willing to pay attention, life can be our greatest teacher. When we become aware of something that is out of alignment or just not feel right, we have the biggest opportunity to learn about ourselves.

They say when the student is ready the teacher comes and I was made aware of something I needed to learn and maybe you need to learn it too.  Just recently, I realized that I have often settled for things even when it was not in my best interest. For example, I wanted to take a series of classes, but the date, time and locations just did not fit my schedule easily.  Since I really wanted to take the class, I tried every way possible to make it work, even though it would have been very difficult to navigate. It was then that I stopped to listen to my inner dialogue. I was using words such as “could or should and I have to” or “I can make it work” as I tried to convince myself.

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Taking Time To Breathe

This summer I have decided to take some time to breathe, reflect and discern where I have been and where I would like to go next. The catalyst for this was the realization that it had been one year since the counseling center I co-owned for 10 years closed.   I jumped right in to what I would do next without as much as a flicker of my eye. To be honest, I don’t think I could bear the thought of not having anything to be responsible for. The one thing I knew for sure, is that I can help people heal their lives and live into their full potential Safari of the Spirit was born. I have just had a one year birthday and I think it is good practice to stop, look and listen for new ideas and directions.

I have been greatly influenced by my mission trips to Africa, the work of several guru’s in personal growth; Brene Brown, Elizabeth Gilbert, Barbra Brown Taylor and countless others. I have also been inspired by the stories I have heard along the way, but most of all my clients inspire me every day with their courage to change the life they are living!

As part of this discernment, I have decided to re-read a few of my favorite books that have left an impression on me. The first book I’m reading is Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.  So today, I’m reading on my deck, my favorite place, when I come across these little gems in her book.

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