I have been on a continual journey of discernment about my own life and my work, as well as helping my clients do the same thing. While everyone has different circumstances to consider, the question remains for the same as I believe it is at the heart of the spiritual quest. In all aspects of my life, what really matters, what brings me joy and what brings me into the fullest expression of who I am?
This is a powerful question for sure but sometimes the work to explore deeper is hard. In the last 5 years I have had my share of very difficult life situations, health concerns and closing a business that was my dream. As many of us do, I would have liked to pretend to have blinders on or struggle against it rather than to face what was in front of me. It took me a long time, but when I finally stopped fighting what was happening in my life, I began to embrace a new idea; what if I did not have to fight it?
I had a major ankle surgery 9 months before my son’s out of state wedding, thinking I had allowed more than enough time for it to heal. It would mean not being able to put weight on it for 3 months, at the longest before starting physical therapy. Soon that time went from 3 months to 6 months and I was getting weaker by the day not able to do normal activities. I became depressed, anxious and got angry that this was happening. I was looking forward to be escorted down the aisle by my son at his wedding, but at month eight, and one month before the wedding, I still could not walk. I decided that all this energy was taking away from being resourceful in finding a solution and finding a way to enjoy the wedding. I stopped the fight and took Inspired Action to come up with a creative way to work with what I had.
When difficult things happen, our first reaction is to fight back to defend or protect ourselves from what we perceive as a threat. Without even noticing we are doing it, we end up staying in the fight until we are too tired to continue or we just can’t do it anymore. When I decided to stop the fight. I realized that the very things that were hard and difficult, were really here to help me. It seemed like a radical thought to lay down my guns when I could not see a path forward than the one laid out for me. However, I learned from going from victim to empowering myself, created an opening in my life circumstances where I could begin to ask questions. And for me that question was, what really matters?
The truth is, we are all players in our own lives and we live it according to what we value and believe.
Once we know what this is, we can begin to check it against the things that we do and say. But because we are all human and get off our center, our words and actions are not always in alignment. Sometimes we let the opinions of others have more value than our own, or we let our own fear scare us away.
To find what really matters we have to begin the search beyond the usual answers. We need to be able to challenge what we value and believe, to discover if it is based on our truth or someone else’s. At your center is the place of heart or God that is within you. It is the place where who you are meets the outside world. It is also the place of wisdom that if you listen you can begin to discern what really matters to you. Once you have discovered it will act like the center point of the compass pointing the way to a more authentic life.
Blessings in your journey!
This was first published in the Savage Pacer on 7-14-18