Stuck In An Old Patteran

If we are willing to pay attention, life can be our greatest teacher. When we become aware of something that is out of alignment or just not feel right, we have the biggest opportunity to learn about ourselves.

They say when the student is ready the teacher comes and I was made aware of something I needed to learn and maybe you need to learn it too.  Just recently, I realized that I have often settled for things even when it was not in my best interest. For example, I wanted to take a series of classes, but the date, time and locations just did not fit my schedule easily.  Since I really wanted to take the class, I tried every way possible to make it work, even though it would have been very difficult to navigate. It was then that I stopped to listen to my inner dialogue. I was using words such as “could or should and I have to” or “I can make it work” as I tried to convince myself.

Whenever we use words such as; have to, need to, could, would and should, it is an indication that we are not in touch with our motivation. These words indicate that our actions are being dictated by something we fear or a negative or limiting belief we hold true about ourselves. That was true for me too.

So back to the class, I knew that the class would be offered at a later time, date and location that would work for me, if I was willing to wait. I had wanted to try to make it work now because that is what I did; I made things work! I had always accommodated things into my life because I have felt “I needed to” or “had to make it work”. I realized I had fallen into an old trap of letting my action be driven by a limiting belief.

It was at that moment that I realized this had become somewhat of a common occurrence and that I will often settle for something that is not right for me. This is something we all do, we put aside what is in our best interest for something else; this is called settling. Webster’s Dictionary defines settling as; ending something by reaching an agreement. When we settle we reach an agreement with our thoughts and beliefs.

It is our beliefs and experiences that drive our thoughts, so when we settle, we have made an agreement with our fear or negative beliefs and it is usually not in our best interest.

The classes are offered several times I could easily take them at a time that was convenient for me. But most of all, when I could see past my limiting belief, I was making myself a priority by making it right for me.

I know this is a small example but it made me realize how often I had sold myself short and I wonder how many of you do the same thing. It was a huge insight as I grew up believing that you put the needs of others ahead of your own and to be liked you needed to change yourself to be accepted. I think you know the story and perhaps you even have one of your own.

If anything I have said here strikes a chord with you or triggers an insight of you own I would love to hear about it. Please be gentle with yourself as you unravel it to get a new insight that bring you closer to the magnificent person you are. ~ Blessings


P.S. If you are feeling stuck in an old pattern please give me a call or reply to this email to inquire about coaching.

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